The Beginning (and End) of Civilization, and Global Warming

Here I am, typing briskly on the laptop, sweating profusely, and all of a sudden,  words slips through my mind, the picture I tried to paint blurred by the saline liquid, everything muddled.

If the productivity of one person is calculated by his monthly output times 12, we should start cutting the factor by 2, maybe 3, from now on, because in the ever rising heat of the summer, nothing is reasonably supposed to be produced. Nothing at all.

I wondered aloud in "Bozos with Big Guns"(, or more accurately, the author wondered in "Guns, Germs, and Steel") why Europeans instead of New Guineans ruled the world today. The reason should be clear by now, if not among the best and brightest scientists ever touring from one weather convention to the next, at least to the heatstroke victims in those sub-tropical/semi-tropical/bona-fide-tropical nations, which practically means their entire populations, all over the world.

If the Spaniards cheated the hell out of the Mayans and acquired civilization superiority, that's because Spanish is higher in latitude than the aboriginal empires. With global warming creeping up, you needed to go further north to keep yourselves cool-headed, and that's how the French, the British, and the Germans kicked the Spaniards down from the top of the ranking system.

And you can easily see where the trends go, just take a peek at the latest score cards like World Happiness Index or Competitive Report, and the Nordic countries are really beating the sxxt out of the Brits and the Yankees.

Got it? The greenhouse may have created life, but it's high-temperature-and-horrendous-humidity also destroyed, is destroying, and will keep destroying the productivity and creativity of the human being. Ironic, huh?

My muddled head and paralyzed damp body is proof.

Apocalypse Now

It's a wonder I am still alive, and the world still functions as usual. The heat in the afternoon was stuff from post-apocalyptic films, the kind that destroys all but a few survivors, hunting and scavenging like Robinson Crusoe, everyday a drama.

I myself would be one of the cast, bitching and arguing with the lead character, impatient with the unbearable situation, decided to act alone and soon become a manifestation of supporting-role stupidity by falling off the ridge/stumbling into a horde of zombies/being consumed by a vortex of sharks.

Fortunately,  by nightfall, the heat has lessened and I was able to think more clearly. We watched a couple of episodes of Grand Design and Country Life on BBC, and talked about our retirement plan, musing over possible location, like Taichung or Chang-Hua.

I had a headache almost all day, felt better only after dinner. They say office coffee addicts often feel nauseous during weekends. I definitely need to go out and resupply my stock first thing tomorrow.

Chapter 1, Earth Human Survival Guide

(ver. Taiwan, a tiny island situated somewhere near a rock and a pair of very sharp scissors)

1. You don't need this guide if you are under 40.

2. Once you are 40, prepare to go through at least two, most likely a series of of crises.

3. 1st thing you should know in dealing with these crises, is that you need much, much more than a job, a wife, and multiple cats to get through.

4. 2nd thing you should know, is that you don't need to drink, be an alcoholic, do drugs, be a drug addict, or even beat your wife, to feel in-crisis.

5. OK, now that we had a basic understanding, here we go: to survive more than 40 years, on this petty island in this great big world, you will need:

a. a (big) family,

OR

b. (a bunch of) friends,

OR

c. an obsession,

OR

d. a (strong) sense of being needed.

(to be continued)